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I stand inside watching them socialize
seated under the autumn trees
laughing and enjoying the day
I watch them as if I wasn't there
and really I'm not
in their minds, in their world
merely a convenience
a pawn
a place holder
for the person they's wish I would be

Cloud painting

white clouds turn purple at days end
the vestiges of the day's sun sprays their underbellies
deep, pale pink and dark salmon
hints of blushed roses and burnt embers
brighten darkened masses as powder blue turn cyan
farther out pale pinks, lilacs and cotton balls
the light fades
the pinks bruise deeper into blue violets
grey swallows lighter tones
as the sky puts on it's evening robe
now no colors, only contrasts
the beauty of the coming night

Inertia

how peacefully the daytime fades
effortlessly darkening into night
bathed the thralls of twilight
bright warm colors gently cool
deepening till they blend themselves away
the hot winds chill to icy whispering breezes
white clouds bruise and then vanish
all the world folds in on itself
secure in the dying of the light
how I envy the sleepy universe
soon it will nod and be still
and I will sit and witness the peace
never meant for me again

Limbo

the darkness never does come fast enough
there always seems to be time for reflection
time to see
time to discover
time to feel
when what is desired most is the cold empty arms of the night
secure in the abyss, blanketed in the numb whispers
nothing to see
nothing to touch
nothing to hurt
twilight holds you there, trapped
between the ravages of the light and the anesthetizing night
the darkness never comes fast enough
though I wait on razor's edge
praying for release
hoping to forget

FAIL

I have failed my original goal of posting a new poem everyday.
I am only Human I suppose, I do intend to post again.
I welcome a poetry challenge (suggest a poem on any topic)

Trick or Treat

Another requested poem, this one all I was given was Halloween, so yeah.


Trick or Treat

Tiny wanderers fill the night
Some are merry, some dead with fright
Searching for any sign of light
The promise of reward, no matter how slight
Doorstep to doorstep, with all their might
Collecting and laughing, such childhood delight

Requested Poem #2 May 12th 2010

[Requested Poem Number 2]

Renaissance Faire, Renaissance Faire.
Characters of all types, you'll find there
'Round yon Virgins, silly costumes abound
Anachronisms are all around

Turkey Legs and Fools
Turkey Legs and Fools

Come see the show, come see the show
Bring your friends, everyone ye know
Buy your tickets and pay your tolls
Old fashioned strip mall out of control

Twenty bucks for fake wands
Twenty bucks for fake wands

Remember and Smile

Remember and Smile
In Memory of an Old Hippie

Weep not for the memory
Weep not for the Man
Weep not for the loss
Weep not if you can

Smile for the Memories
Smile for the Man
Smile for all is never Lost
So, Please Smile If You Can

*Dedicated to my best friend and her family*

The Critic

Poetry is harder than you think
So much harder if you try not to stink
yet when every poem is a wrap
all you have is literary crap

Untitled May 9th 2010

Don't look at me with that tone of voice
I will scissor-kick you up-side the neck
I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew
I will come at you like a Spider Monkey

words of wisdom,
but not from afar
from the mouth of Babes
Of fans of Nascar

untitled May 8th 2010

I Smile At Day's End
Wrapped In The Promise Of Night
Dazzled By Twilight

Unconditionally

all that i am
all i can be
all that you know
all that you see

all you can want
all you can feel
all that is fantasy
all that is real

all that is broken
all that endures
all that is me
all that is yours

The Clock Ticks On

The Clock Ticks On

Weary head rests into the pillow
the clock ticks away the seconds
sheets are tangled, covers bunched
and yet the clock ticks on
tossing, turning, sighing, moaning
still the clock ticks on
hours pass, the crickets sing
and the clock ticks on
dreams never coming, sleepless eyes stare
as the clock ticks on
Fuck it! I'm getting a Pop-Tart!

Food For Thought

Life is not an all you can eat buffet
You're only allowed through once
Unless your are Hindu
Or Buddhist
Or Pagan
Or a Vampire
Especially if you are a Vampire....
Then maybe it IS.


*********
So yeah I'm trying short poems now.

Troubled Waters

Troubled Waters

Troubled Waters
Harsh
Unforgiving
Rising swiftly
Ripping, tearing
Clawing away the vestiges of Man
Dominating once more
Troubled Waters
Fearsome
Beautiful
Force of Nature
Finger of God

Please

Please

touch me, feel me
strong arms with gentle hands
fondle, caress, embrace
hours and hours at a time
an eternity of endless moments
warm, secure, wanton
lost in perpetual bliss

touch me, hold me
reach into the darkness
bring back the fire to my soul
I’ve been cold far too long
alone in the night
holding pillows close

Touch me, Love me
Make me feel again

Untitled May 1st 2010

I stand before you
naked, unkempt
wanting you to see me
the real me
the me I myself cannot see
I want you to see in me
all the things you’ve ever wanted
everything and nothing all at once
nothing special and all you could ever imagine
it’s not that much to ask for
or so I would hope to think
I stand before you
just as I am
asking you to see me
and love me

A Dream In A Minor

A Dream In A Minor

The moon is just a stinking piece of meat
Microwave toaster cakes and morning glory mornings
All is well in the life of a goat herder
I shall eat pancakes on your grave

Microwave toaster cakes and morning glory mornings
I will gladly pay you Thursday for a hamburger today
I shall eat pancakes on your grave
While bunnies dance in the colored winds of summer

I will gladly pay you Thursday for a hamburger today
False, because ice cream has no bones
While bunnies dance in the colored winds of summer
I lie awake at night, fearing they will come

False, ice cream doesn’t have any bones
The moon is just a rotten slab of meat
I’m awake at night, because I know they are coming
All is not well in the life of a goat herder

Dreams come and go
Yet some we keep
The damnedest things
While we’re asleep

The Hunger

The Hunger

EAT!
I don’t want to…
EAT!
No, I’m not hungry…
EAT!
I can’t…
EAT!
I’m too fat…
EAT!
Look at me…
EAT!
I’m as big as a cow…
EAT!
No, Not a single bite…
EAT!
I am strong…
EAT!
I am in control…
EAT!
My stomach hurts…
EAT!
I haven’t eaten in days…
EAT!
I’m so hungry…
EAT!
I want to…
EAT!
Maybe just a little…
EAT!
I can’t do this…
EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT!
Another day fighting,
another battle lost.
To fit in is the way you win,
No matter what the cost!


****
This is the original version of a poem was published by the International Poets Society. (I had to reformat and edit it for space) I can't remember which anthology it's in, I'm in quite a few, but they publish everything that is submitted...lol

Not Here

Not Here


Why do I do this
Why do I let myself fall in love
Why can I only love those who cannot love me
Why can’t I find my one true love
The one that will love me too
Where is he hidding
Where can he be
not here...


*****
OK not my longest effort, just a pattern I've noticed in my own life.
I kinda like the shortness of it, Blunt and to the point, like me.

OLD 2004 Poem I found in a file, I kinda like it

How do you know when you love someone?
Do you get that special feeling in the pit of your stomach?
Or is it that dizzy feeling you get when he walks by?
How do you tell?
Whatever the definition
Whatever the symptoms
I think I have it
What a frail emotion
What a fatal emotion
I have dances this dance before
And don’t want to end up with sore feet and an empty bed for my troubles
But what else can I do?
Damn it I’m in love with a friend
That’s not cool
That can’t happen
It’s too dangerous
I’ve danced this dance a thousand times
You’d think by know I’d know the steps
Time and time again I let my heart free
Stepping hard against the pulse of the music
Caught in a tango of endless seduction
I’ve danced this dance a thousand times
You’d think by know I’d know the steps
But no,
I fumble into the same routine
And happily dance all over my heart
What happens when you think you are falling in love with a friend of yours?

The Short Walk Home

The Short Walk Home

It has been so long since I’ve looked at the sun
Far longer that it comforted me
Warm gently fingers resisting playful breezes
I walk alone down the curved rocky path
Serene in my own mind
Free of the worries that smother
No sounds, save the wind sliding in the trees
Warm air full of the dewy remnants of a recent shower
If I were a younger man, I would linger here
Smelling the winds, barefoot in moist grasses
Lost in the intoxication of Spring
But I cannot stay out too long
My body no longer equipped for such merriment
Nevertheless, the sun is warm
The grasses are green and playful
And I can dream again.

Out of Order

Out of Order

I never thought I would be the kind to hold a grudge
It’s just not in my nature
Live and let live
Forgive and forget
I thought it was as simple as that
I was wrong
9 years have come and gone
9 years of hold on
9 years of trying to forget
9 years of lying to myself
I trusted you, loved you, would become anything for you
You let me believe
You told your lies too well
You left without another word
A phone call from your lover crushed my soul one night
I was left alone, punched open, gaping, bleeding
I swore no one would ever leave me so helpless again
I locked away any resemblance of who I was
Threw the tattered remnants into the dumpster and never looked back
Degradation became my bedfellow, I couldn’t sink too low
One taboo followed another, a sad procession into numbness
I let my hatred and my sorrow transform me through and through
From one who once believed in fairy tales, to little more than a public toilet
Nothing had meaning, nothing brought joy, no pain, just nothing
An empty receptacle for the mire of men’s false affections
This is where I thought I should be, more than I deserved
My most vicious grudge, it seems, was against myself
For I can’t seem to blame it on you, not anymore
You didn’t break me, I broke myself down
Piece by piece, unfixable
Forever
Out of order


*****
Yeah, so I apologize for the self-abasing tone that seems to have surfaced.
I am finding that my poetry has once again become a cathartic outlet for me.

Vestiges

Vestiges

My life hangs placid at its noon day position
Yet to look at it, I see nothing more than early dawn
No pale pinks and blues cutting through the void of night
No promise of the warmth to come
If it is to come at all
Perhaps not dawn, but just beyond twilight
Maybe that is where I stand
My eyes searching into the soul-sucking darkness of night
Seeing nothing
What legacy would be left behind?
If this be my last tomorrow
Would I even leave a single footprint in the sand?
Or would I be washed away completely by the next ebb’s flow?
Would it matter either way?
Would there be a point to leave a reason to be missed?
Whom would the benefit befall?
Would it not be better to vanish quietly?
Unnoticed, unmourned, forgotten?

apology

My mind is far too distracted to be able to commit anything to verse tonight.
I am sorry if anyone is actually keeping up with this blog and I am letting them down tonight. Please allow me this, because I cannot function correctly now.
I shall continue whenever I am able to dream on paper again.

Lamentations of a Walmart Shopping Cart

Lamentations of a Walmart Shopping Cart

When I was a but a wee buggy I dreamt of what I’d be
A shopping cart of the leisured class
In some bright department store in some big city
Maybe a Sears, a Toys R Us, or a classy home interiors store
Or perhaps the simpler life would be for me
In a quaint small town grocery store
With bright eyes housewives picking our dinners with care
Oh how rewarding such a life would be

But I did not apply myself, when my time had finally come
I simply let it all pass by until my making was done
I have a set of squeaky wheels and one that often sticks
I am now but a taxi for the brood of slovenly hicks
There is no sign of pride in me about this life I lead
And the daily grind and overwork is killing me indeed
Used, abused, and left outside, stuck between cars and left alone
Or else corralled together into my co-workers so hard our baskets groan

How did this happen to us? What crime have we committed?
Is there no court of appeals, no chance to be acquitted?
I’d rather be stolen hence, live with a homeless guy
Or even live life in extreme hurting teenage kids when they get high
Or smaller still just to seek sweet revenge, I’d travel near or far
Praying for a phantom wind to hurl me at a patron’s car

Oh what a wretched life this is
The lowest form of shopping cart
To drudge away 24 hours a day
In this hell known as Walmart

Insignificant

Insignificant

I’m really not that complicated
Not much more than what you see
I exist, I draw breath when needed
I sleep when I get tired, or try to anyway
I eat when I am hungry, well sometimes when I’m not
I go where I am needed, disposed of as is best
I feel no need to complain
There is no reason for this to change
I am just here, not much more
Not that anyone would notice anyway

Eulogy

Eulogy

All I have ever known is this
It’s all I’ll ever know
A life in unchanging stagnation
A soul that can never grow
I wish I could lose myself for once
Uproot and run away
To wander through the country
With no true place to stay
No longer bound to any place
To which I’ve never belonged
To never hang to stay and fight
Should I ever be wronged
To be truly free in life
To follow my foolish heart
To travel on to journey’s end
Never stopping once I start
I don’t belong here in this place
I wonder why or if you’d care
If I were to be gone tomorrow
To a place I know not where
I’d ask you not to look for me
There would be no need to fear
I am not worth that kind of trouble
And hardly worth a tear
But I know I’ll never leave this place
I’ll never stray far from home
And I’ll make a casket for my withered heart
Who will never get to roam.

Untitled 4/23/2010

Lay your head on my shoulder
Stain my shirt with salt and sorrow
Purge it all away, hold on to nothing
Pure it all upon me, drown me in your pain
I’ll do whatever I can to make it all go away
I’ll shoulder your burdens
I’ll tend to your wounds
I’ll support your weight as you claw yourself up
I’ll push you out of the abyss
Do not ever look back
Leave the worries down here with me
I’ll keep them far from you forever
All I ask is that you keep going forward
Don’t let your conscious linger
One of us has to make it out alive
And I’m making sure it’s you
So live life, love vigorously, and enjoy happiness
Do not morn me, or my lot
For your slightest merriment I would sacrifice my whole infinitely
And know I could do no greater good

Rejection After Midnight

I'm Tired, so this one may not make sense in the Morning, please excuse typos and spelling/grammar capitalization errors...



Rejection After Midnight


Alone I spend too many midnights staring into the void of my eyelids
Their darkness is no longer a comfort to my sorrow
Each lingering breath echoes through me like the wind over the sea
I feel the icy fingers of fading memories slide along my body
I shiver with each movement, unable to control my actions

Finally one memory prevails, and the darkness fades away
the dawn is breaking on a new day in my heart
bathed in the warmth, my body tingles as the light swallows my soul
each breath quickens, chased by yet another
I see your face, in a heavenly glow, and I know that you are with me

I open my eyes and see that it was only a dream
only the pillows keep the cold night out of our bed
I look around the room, but I know you are not there
You Can’t be, you left me, you left me here alone
to die each night of heartache, to drown myself with tears

You said that you could love me, you said that I was the one
You said we could be together, now and forever
I gave you my heart, I handed it over no questions asked
I trusted you and I loved you too, I pledged to you my all
But that wasn’t enough I guess, I couldn’t give you everything you need

I remember the day you left my world, the day the sun refused to shine
I fell asleep wrapped tight in your arms and awoke tangled in the sheets
No more heat was left in them, Your scent have long since gone
There was no explanation, just the colorless truth that I wasn’t the one
I remember this day well, and live it again each morning I wake up without you

Why did you leave me, what did I do wrong
wasn’t you in love with me, wasn’t that love strong
Why leave without a whisper like a shadow in the night
Why leave me no comfort in the morning’s light
I cannot deserve this, why am I the one to cry
why am I still suffering, Oh GOD why can’t I just die!

Untitled 4/21/2010

Behind the camera’s eye, I watched my world go by
Trapping every possible moment
Preserving it carefully
I never wanted to forget these days
The joys, the pains, the milestones of youth
I HAD to remember them forever

Miles of negatives clutter shoe boxes
Filed away in dusty drawers
Decaying as the years pass
Thousands of familiar faces stare
Protected in plastic sheets
To remind me that I was there

Colorful shapes and faces
Once were trophies of the heart
Now only faint déjà vu
Ephemeral vestiges of what should be memories
Holding no more meaning to me
I had forgotten them completely

Behind the camera’s unfeeling eye I watched
And let the my world pass me by
I never let my life sink in
And so those memories died
Lost forever in a sea of dreams
Of times I thought I knew
Insubstantial yesterdays
A deceit that can’t come true

untitled

Seduce me, fair Muse
Lay your hands upon me
Entreat my soul with your fire
Arouse my very spirit

Opulent nymph, touch me
Guide my hand to the page
Safeguard my pen fair lady
Let my words make love to the world

No longer raping the parchment
Ejaculating upon it with abandon
Making no sense, having no purpose
Oh how I mistreated the sensibility of language

I am reformed, sweet goddess
Transformed by your gentle hand
So whisper to me, dear Siren
Breathe life into creation.

Sing In Me O Lord

Sing In Me O Lord

Sing in me O Lord, sing in me
Lift up your voice in my heart
Set my soul on fire, burn in me forever
Sing in me a song of Joy, a song of Love, of Hope
Sing in me O Lord, sing in me
Fill the darkness with sweet music
Drown out the deafening silence
Sing in me O Lord, sing in me
Teach my heart the harmony
To the melody of your Love
Sing in me O Lord, sing in me
Let the music flow through me
Let it be heard far and near
Sing in me O Lord,
Sing in me!

Crying at the Discotheque

Crying at the Discotheque


Light flash and flicker
Rhythmic dances, thumping beats
I sit alone in darkened corners
Across the room I see you
Happy, content, serene
I see you with him
His eyes full of desire
Drinking you up every second
I too see you thus
I long to look at you, looking at me that way
Like no one has ever looked at me before
Like no one may ever look at me at all
I sit and hope that you might see me
Secluded and hidden as I am
But by serendipitous fate our eyes do meet
And passion ignites within you
I want you to long for my touch
To desire to taste my lips to lose yourself inside me
I wish I could enchant you
As you have transfixed me
I sit in darkness out of the sight of others
But you know I am here
I can tell you sense me
But you will not come to me
You can’t; not now
Nor can I approach
I should be ashamed
But I am bound
And you know it…

Lie to Me

LIE TO ME

Lie to me, tell me you need me
Tell me you want me, me and only me
Touch me, touch me like you mean it
Touch me with upmost desire
Crave me, even if you don’t
Just make me believe it
Please, Lie to me
Just for tonight, Just this once
Let me feel like I matter
Like I’m beautiful
The one you couldn’t live without
Just please lie to me
Tell me you love me
Touch me like you do
Seduce me, deceive me
In a lifetime of cruel ugly truth,
All I need is a beautiful lie
I know you don’t feel it
I know you won’t mean it
But if you say it, tonight I will believe it
Lost in your eyes, melted by your touch
Lie to me tonight
Just for tonight
Make me believe I’m worth it
Like I could have you if I wanted
If I cannot have you
If I cannot lay forever in your arms
If I cannot have love
Why not at least give me the lie?
Just one simple lie
Please!
Lie to me!

I Want My Candy Back!

I Want My Candy Back!


Remember the days when your biggest concern was candy,
Just candy, what kind you liked, when you would get some next
Not how you could afford it, or what it would do to you thighs
Just when it was coming back and how yummy-fantastic it is.
Where are those days; when did they leave us?
How can we find those careless days of yesteryear again?
Before headlines and deadlines and the 6 o’clock news
Before the hustle and the bustle and others’ points of view
We were happy then, once upon a time
All troubles could be solved by mother’s kisses
There was always room for milk and cookies
Sandwiches came without the crusts on them
Saturday mornings were cartoon block-parties
Santa and the Easter Bunny were real
Yes, those where the days,
When we ruled the world
And life was filled with possibilities
I want my Candy back!

Where to Begin

This Blog is dedicated to Dr. Beth Crachiolo, now the chair of the English and Theatre Department of Berea College. Beth is truly a wonderful person, and one hell of a teacher! For whatever reason, she seems to believe in my aptitude as a writer and has made it perfectly clear, on more than one occasion, that to not write would be a waste. So I am trying to do something I've never attempted before. Starting today, April 20, 2010, I will try very hard to post at least one new poem a day for 1 year. I'm sure most of them will be utter crap, but you never know when the muse might strike. Please feel free to respond to any post at anytime, I value constructive comments. If you don't like something, that's fine, but please be respectful, there are always ways of getting your view across and still remaining civil.